This is my OCTOBER
I used to love the month of October. Of course, It's my birth month.
It's Mama Mary's Birth month, it's my mom's birth month, it's bebi's
birth month, and this is when semestral break starts... October was my
lucky month until this 2012.. Last October 5, I went with the Sunico's
to McKenzie's Birthday at Shakey's Marcos Highway. After work, I went
straight to their house.
While we're on the way home around 9:30 - 10:00pm my mom called me. I cancelled the call 'cause I thought she'll ask where I am and what time am I going home. Instead, I texted her and said "Ma, pauwi na po ako, galing kami bday ni mac ng pamangkin nia. Lapit na me. hihi." Right after sending the text, my sister called me and said "Shobe, nasan ka na?" I answered "Pauwi na ko. Pasabi na lang kay mama" Then she said right away "Shobe, nabaril si mama. Papunta kami ni dustinn sa Pascual, may sugat siya. Tawagan mo si dar, kasama niya si mama" Right after hearing that, I began to cry. I called my brother and ask him where they are. "Nasa ospital kami. Shob nabaril si mama. Valenzuela Medical Center. Nasa ER." He was panicking. He's nervous, he's crying. Bebi and I rode a cab from Frisco to Valenzuela. I kept on calling my brother while we're on the road. I asked how's mama.. "Dar, ano na si mama? Nasa OR na ba? Anu ginagawa nila?" Then he said "Wala, andito sa ER.. Nirerevive nila si mama. Shob, 0-0 na.. shob pumunta ka na dito, mag-isa lang ako. Andaming dugo shob." Again, I cried hearing "0-0" I even got to ask "Bakit hindi nila dinala sa OR?? Bakit hindi nila inaalis yung bala?? Ano ba? Daplis ba? San ba tumama? Nabangga ba kayo? Bakit nabaril si mamaa!" My brother just answered "Hindi ko alam. Lumusot yung bala! Andaming dugo shob pumunta ka na please" Then after a few minutes, I came at the hospital exactly the same time my sister came with my other brother who's head has a big wound. I tried not to cry. I assisted my younger brother with the nurses for his wound. I tried to catch a glimpse of my mom while the doctors are trying to save her. I saw the "through and through" shot on her side.. then, the doctor talked to me and said "Ma'am, wala na pong pulse si mommy pagdating niya dito.. sinubukan na po namin ng ilan beses na i-save siya.." He's saying these while showing me the graphs with flat lines.. I cried. My brother, my sister, my tita.. we all cried. Cried so hard while hugging each other. I went to my mom. Then I saw them covering her with the white sheets.. I wanted to hug her.. hug her so tight thinking that my hug might wake her up. I was not afraid of blood. I've been studying and working with blood since my college years started. But that time, that moment when I saw my mom covered with blood. I felt chills. I felt something very heavy inside. I don't know how to explain that feeling. When my brother told us the whole story on how it happened, I felt pain. I felt anger. I felt so many things that all I could do was cry. Then I saw my younger brother seating near us, not knowing anything. I wiped my tears, went to him and asked him if he's ok and what he wants.. The doctor cleaned and stitched his wound and ordered a CT Scan. Thank God he's fine.
After a few moments, a man from the funeral asked us to confirm the body before they bring it to the funeral.. I saw my mom, covered with white sheets with stains of blood. I can't imagine that I would be on that moment, that I will see my mom being carried, lifeless. Then after maybe 10-15mins, the media came, the police came, the SOCO came, everything was a blur. They even asked me to take a pic of my mom inside the funeral car. They opened the big black bag with my mom inside. I was crying very hard while taking the picture. Why me, of all the people. Ako pa talaga pinakuha niyo ng picture?? Picture ng nanay kong nakahiga na wala ng buhay? Tangina. I was feeling really shitty, mad and hurt. They needed a family relative to accompany my mom on her way to the funeral. Bebi and I went with them. My sister can't because she's pregnant, my brother is needed by the media and police for interviews and statements. We waited at the funeral until 7am for the autopsy to finish. The pathologist told me that there were 4 gunshots. DAMN. 4gunshots all straight to my mom. One on her arm, 2 on the side of her breast that went through the other side and one on her shoulder. Again, Tangina. That someone who did that to my mom has no heart, no soul and is just like Satan. We have our suspect but I can't write it here. Forms were given and I started to fill it up. Death, Died, Deceased. Those were the words that I've been reading on the forms. Again, another Tangina. The day went on and we needed to prepare so many things. I couldn't sleep. Even if I try to close my eyes, despite of all the things we did, we prepared, I couldn't sleep. October 8 was her birthday. We were supposed to have a small celebration at home like the old times. Achie and I planned to have kiddie games for the adults with balloons. *Hayyy...* I don't want to elaborate this part of my post, I don't need a blog post to remember the whole thing that happened. It will forever be on my mind. My mom was buried last October 13, 2012 11:00am at the Eternal Gardens Memorial Park together with my grandmother. I hope you rest in peace mom. We'll fight for you.
Last October 16 was my birthday. Mom's supposed to cook Carbonara for my workmates and buttered shrimp for us at home. Instead, my aunts, sister and cousins bought Palabok, Pancit and Lechon Manok for our dinner. Hayy. I really miss my mom. She's all we had. She did EVERYTHING for us. She didn't deserve to die that way. I know, God has a purpose. God has a reason. It's not everyday that we'll be hurt. God just let us experience this pain, for us to appreciate the biggest gift and reward He'll give us when the right time comes. At least my mom's resting now. She doesn't have to wake up very early in the morning to prepare foods to sell at the canteen, she doesn't have to drive my brothers to school and rush to the office for work. She doesn't have to sleep and go home late because of her loaded office works.
Oh well, Life must go on. I know my mom wouldn't want us to just sit here and cry. She'll want us to fight, go on with our lives and be successful. Don't worry ma, We'll be. They'll kneel in front of us in time asking for forgiveness. Rest in Peace Ma, We love you so so so much.
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