When it rains, it pours...

... need i say more. I just want to know when will it stop pouring. I'm not strong enough. I'm not getting any better. It is just so hard and I am losing myself. It is so much easier before. Back when i can go a day without worrying. Back when i excel at anything i want. Back when things go my way.

I'm going crazy. There are so many things piled up and I haven't done any. Preliminary exams are up next next week yet I feel like I've learned nothing. We lost on our financial support case with my dad. My mom even told me what my dad said.. "Matigas daw kasi ulo ni shobe kaya si darryl lang ang may bank account". LOL. I know I'm not as good as an angel, but. Does he even know what he's doing? Is he a good example of a great dad? The answer would be a BIG NO. I'd even rather be a daughter of other fathers out there than have him as my father. He's a shame. If he was just good enough, we could've not experience this kind of life. Imagine, my mom has to wake up at 3:00 in the morning to prepare the foods for her food shop at Letran? while my dad's mistress is happily lying on their own house now at Gen. Santos, South Cotabato. Grr.. It totally ruined my half-ruined day. Another are formal report deadlines, sleepless nights because of Phy-Ana and wasted times.


I've been at my worst self lately because I can't be superwoman. And because of that, i am being punished more with what's happening around me. Maybe I am really being so possessive. I'll adjust and give him space, it would be better that way, maybe. I'd rather hold on and stay than let go and hurt myself more.

and when it rains, it pours... but it will stop... i know it will... i just hope it will come sooner because i don't know how much longer i can hold on to life. Aja hazel, Aja! I'll be fine.. I swear :x